“I spit on the face of the rebels, the rodents, and the cockroaches. The cockroaches and adder are the principalities that have come to planet earth with the sole aim of ruining and puncturing destinies. Liars! I will tread upon you cockroaches with little need for insecticides. You have no place here…Die! Die!! Die!!!” Jesus!! (Ade screamed). Ade, for the umpteenth time, had this rather intense dream which got his bed pitifully soaked. He almost instantly found himself narrating the indeed disturbing dream to his mother who rapidly came to her only son’s aid.
Ade was the only son and infact, he was the only child of his parents. His father was a big pastor in one of the TOP churches situated in Rivers State. His mum, popularly called Mama Ade, was a devout and pious Christian and a role model to a plenitude of Christians and even non-Christians. They were not in the class of Dangote but then they were comfortable with two soft rides, a duplex and a fat bank account. Ade started in the faith, at least up to his secondary school stage, until a twist occurred. I bet you want to find out (winks).
“Omo Pastor! Omo Pastor!! (Four boys chuckled). Ade, who was in S.S.1, was fed up of people laughing at him simply because he was from a godly background. He wanted it to stop but had thought of no relevant means to go about his extant grief. He thought of informing the Hostel Master (Ade was in boarding school) but was perhaps prudent to decide against it reason being that it will only exacerbate issues and even crown him “OMO PASTOR”. Ade could conveniently be called “A JEW MAN” as he frowned at the every ungodly move brought to the fore by the bad boys of his class. He was undoubtedly a scholar and so, he normally attracted ladies. “Mehn!!! These girls do not even like me but just wish they could guttle my brain”, he thought. He liked a girl badly and of course could not do anything about it. The best he had done was to write her math test for her – a test which found her chilling with 30/30 – but the response he got was insufficient for a boy in love. She was like, “Ade thank you so much, you are the best. God will bless you”. “Seriously?” Ade wept inside. “Does she think that I do not have a trunk load of God’s blessings?” (Ade wondered). Her name was Susan – a short shaped pretty girl blessed with buxom but deprived of the BEHIND. I have this hunch that Ade liked her not because of her telling features but because of her character. Ade always said of her, “There is something queer about her”. As one might expect, Ade was in dire need of a mind blowing apprise. Every one had gotten involved in a relationship, he thought so, so he did not want to be left out (Hmmm!!! What happened to his firm principles and religious concepts?).
SS3 came, and it was definitely about WAEC for that was the only thing that was feasible due to the huge embarrassment he met with the day he screwed up balls to ask Susan out. He was not going to forget that ‘fuck up’ any time soon (believe me, blood). WAEC, JAMB, POST-UTME was just on point and University of Benin was his final destination. The greater joy of his parents was that their son was a law student. Ade, who was now in his first year, seemed not to hear God’s voice anymore – this was more of a gift he had. Well maybe he did not lose this gift but then, he stopped hearing God’s voice because of the constant blocking of his ears with big headphones pregnant with secular tracks. Ade was unconsciously missing his way. This phase of Ade’s life was the duty period for God and the notorious Devil. It is truism that God gave man a choice and still an axiom that God is a respecter of His word. Due to the extant spiritual challenges Ade was saddled with, God cooked up a plan. The devil on the other hand (the second world) was digging into Ade’s archives and came up with an earthly plan. The devil came up with a viper move, let us see if it struck Ade.
Thursday evenings seemed to have this default precipitation and it was only traditional to find Ade sleeping bare-chested in his room (the popular Hall 4 hostel). This particular evening was different as he lazily laid on his bed lamenting: “Why did Tamera shun me in such an embarrassing manner?” (He thought inwardly). Sukomi, Ade’s new friend, annoyingly disturbed the worried young man’s thoughts by the unwelcomed scream of Ade in perpetuamente. “Ogbeni kilo she?” (Ade frowns). Ade seemed sick of his friend’s talk but was clearly interested now more than ever at the mention of “Susan”. “Wait… wait! Did you say Susan?” with meteor, Ade gave an apt description of the Susan he once loved (perhaps lust) and Sukomi was nodding his laughable big head. “Omo you sabi this babe be that o!… was she your Signora?” (Sukomi laughs). Usually, Ade was able to sidestep the question and asked almost immediately “so Baba, where is the party holding?” Sukomi told him it was to go down at Ekosodin. He added that there would be a veritable cornucopia of ladies. “Ekosodin? Ish…well I will be there”. On his friend’s exit, Ade was more relaxed on his bed picturing his once loved Susan. He could imagine wide things without the fetter from his roommates who happened to be yet around. He knew that Ekosodin was dangerous as the stories that spread around the campus were too verily to be debunked or given blocked ears. “God knows I have to see Susan tomorrow night. Besides what could she possibly be doing in that forbidden milieu?” (he wondered). Ade seemed to have a non half-baked thought as regards Friday night as he was incontrovertibly venturesome about setting his giant feet at Ekosodin.
Friday night was here, and truly Sukomi was not joking about the party. Ade was sitting on a plastic chair and obviously trying to keep his calm. His eyes moved to and fro – not because he was looking for Susan but because he was feeling the parlous sign of an unhealthy brawl. At this point, he wished he never came. “Yeah my chief, you later cho sha” (Sukomi speaks with a long pipe affixed in between his tiny lips). Ade was at this point disgusted not just at what his friend was doing but because he found Susan giving a huge rough guy her voluptuous figure. She really did not lose her grinding talent. If not for decency’s sake, Ade would have spat on the ground seeing the very few clothes Susan attached to her skin. You may not be incorrect to say that Ade considered her a whore. “I cannot take this thick bullshit. Would it not have been nice to inform me that Susan was a huzzler? But then what is there to expect from a punk head. You are such a stupid and a disgrace to masculinity!” Ade fired these rail words at Sukomi who gave no vexed response either because he was impaired (thanks to a ceaseless gulp of strong drink) or the music was way too high for effective communication. It was 11:45 in the night and so Ade was pacing up to avoid being stopped by EKOSODIN BROTHERS plus he knew that the gate would be locked by 12am. “Hey Ade!” That was definitely a familiar voice – He almost ignored the voice. The loud voice came again and just like a puppet controlled with strings, Ade ran towards the scrumptious voice. She hugged him (he began to wonder if the hug was for real because since secondary school days, she had never been in the absolute happy mood let alone giving him a free bear-hug). They had roughly three minutes unfettered great talk enough to clear the ‘fuck up’ from his emotional skull – the prehistoric wound in his heart dissipated like vapour.
“Who be dis one?” came the first voice. “Omo you get mind o” came the second voice. “Identify yourself” came the last voice. Skinny Ade was sure he was dealing with STRONG MEN. Susan started begging the first guy (the guy she was displaying unspeakable dance moves on) as Ade could, due to fright, pass for a stammerer. “Who you be?” The husky voice became louder. A thunderous slap opened the floor and found Ade in apoplexic stagger. Few stamps followed and a host of kicks. Ade could not fight back as the difference in strengths was like chalk and cheese. All he could do was shout “Mo gbe!”, “Jesus” , “ye!”. Sukomi was not going to watch his friend go down alone and so, he smashed the head of one the three guys. Ade was set to run for his dear life only for one of the STRONG MEN to transfix his rib cage with a whetted knife. Well, the party was long empty.
TO BE CONTINUED…