I have seen shit (pauses)… I have seen shitty ass shit Kisha. I have seen crazy things, I have seen crazy people, I have seen crazy relationships. I have seen a girl of 15 pose with her boo of probably 16 (I mean…the guy looks damn young), and having their photos of lips conversation go up on Facebook, Instagram, and some other zone. You probably do not find that crazy, Kisha; but I surely cannot take same stand. So I did some googling and guess what I found? I saw a story of a young boy who literally wanked to death during a crazy sexual relationship with a hot brunette via a video chat application. From what I gathered, the deceased was around 18 yrs when he met this hot brunette via a flirting site. They practically started the online dating thing and just as you would expect, the “can I see what you are wearing” line came up. They progressed to the SKYPE app and lady brunette saw no harm in exposing her tatas and everything Eve to her online boyfriend (crazy!!!). Hey Kisha, you bet she had the intention of making her MR ONLINE PRINCE CHARMING desire her buxom, her juicy skin, her mind blowing thighs, her sexy eyes, even to the sacral forbidden cunt situated in between her straight legs. Striking to know that upon staring at her nudity via SKYPE, her prince charming lost total control of his once dangling modifiers, and he was already vibrating as though she had channelled electric current into his body system. He had his hand on his THIRD LEG as though, wishing he could stop the SPILLED MILK; but it was clearly to no avail as he was in the pool of his own sticky milk. The wanking was pronto, meteoric, and in perpetuamente – this pitiful act caused him to leave the earth. She must have watched the whole drama from her end, and seen how it indeed felt like for a nigga to give up the ghost over uncontrolled libidal energy – short relationship, crazy ass shit. Let me hit you with yet another, I am sure you will agree with me that girls are always tilting towards the adventurous line (most of them) when around their boo. You probably get to hear stuff like “I love my man kissing me unexpectedly, especially when I am talking”, Kisha, you love adventure. Don’t you? I bet you might have day dreamt your boo took you up a high mountain and engaged you in several rounds in copulation (hmmm). The purport of this write-up will however rest on one crazy love affair where Sasha rendered her boo, David, technically castrated. Let us see details, Kesha. You ready?
Sasha was only four when she received her first kiss from David, 9 years old, while her parents were out. She was just four, but do not say she did not enjoy the quick rushing sensation planted on her tender thin lips…She was 15 years now, and was crazily in an alleged love for David. David was in the university, he was very cute, and so it was not bizarre that he commanded a plethora of eyeing from the females. What David did when he was horny, was to engage a girl with the striking hooter of, let us say, bra size “44” (just a bit more than the size of the Sasha he claimed to love). David would pound these girls alarm for 5 minutes or thereabout, only to start sweating profusely. He will then say to himself, “I have to work on longer minutes, if I must prove to Sasha that I am no perfect gentleman when in the carnal connection mood, then I have to keep up with more vigorous sex…I cannot afford to be scored 2 out of a million when having the time of my love life with my baby”. Just so you are properly guided Kisha, the baby of his life is the same Sasha.

Sasha is now approaching 16 years. She is the only one amongst her girlfriends yet to have her body wrapped in the arms of a guy. This speaks of the frustrating distance that has significantly encumbered whatever meeting they might have wished for. It for once seemed like her ripened figure was going to fade before her next birthday if David did not come around to cross-examine her body. She was really tired of the whatsapp thing; it just was not worth giving her sufficient pleasure. David perhaps felt likewise but unlike Sasha, he had run a soft work on a trunk load of females all in the name of getting the rightful acquisition as far as sex was concerned; that he may not be tagged a sissy by his supposed ONE AND ONLY (Sasha). “I just got my apartment Sasha; you think you can come tonight?” Hmmm so David, the son of a Deacon, had finally broken free from the cage his devout parents kept him?

Sasha was over excited now. I am pretty sure that all her reading of romantic novels would now be put to a test. Expectedly, Sasha was on a cool make-up, she wore a short attractive blue gown exposing parts of her buxom and a conspicuous piercing cleavage. The blue gown was far from her knee so uhmm Kisha, you can imagine right? She was on her weavon and dark shades, with a blue high heel to match. She was indeed dressed in a manner to kill her David (you bet she knew she possessed provoking tools, enough to land a sane man in the home for the psycho’s). David, on the other hand, was assuring himself that he will not chicken out having encountered a host of forbidden fruits (you bet he ate all). “I am in front of the house you described”. This was the last telephone conversation as Sasha was now with her lover. They had good and romantic talks in his self-contain; the hour mark indicated 12 midnight, and I think you are pondering what I am pondering Kisha (laughs). David knew it was now the time, and so he was wilfully penetrating her emotions with some emotional lines you often see in the movies. “Sasha it has been you all my life, it is with you I want to become a father. I can count how many times I have had to sleep without you, those times were years when I was but a suckling. It is you I want to live for, no soul on earth would I leave you for, and my heart without you is ever waging war…” How poetic David had become, and how emotionally attuned Sasha had presently become. An unexpected kiss was now resting on his lips. She did not stop a second to consider what next, or reconsider what had just been done by her body conduct. David had his trouser flung somewhere in the room, while Sasha had the hands of David penetrating the innermost chambers of her body. It was all rated 18, believe me. What happened to her blue gown? Well David had to tear it to pieces; he must have been blindly engrossed with this sexuality to notice she had a zip just at the back of the wear. David was laying hold of her buxom; she was helping her sweaty palm grab his boner. “aww! You are crazy”, came the repeated sound track Sasha could come up with at many occasions. Her lingerie was snatched – with adeptness, David had done so. His hand was in her sacral temple, you might wonder what he was looking for that took almost forever. “Who left you with so much depravity?” He asked Sasha in low tone when he could not could not comprehend how a virgin could be so adroit at occupying or better still, accommodating his fully stretched and hardened weaponry in her mouth. The copulation was at intervals, David clearly could not do better than 6 minutes at a stretch and it was even confirmed when all Sasha could moan was MORE, MORE, MORE.

Necessity became a mother of invention; and immediately, they hopped out of the bed and stepped outside in their stark nakedness – they entered his tokunbo ride parked just near the front door. It was approaching 3am, but what did they care? David had to hit her G-spot and could only be laid to rest by the judicious application of the ANKLE CHOKER. It started all good (hmmm sex in the car), only for Sasha (clearly electrified at the orgasm stats he was making her reach now) to leave her squatting position. She left it and went all down, and the sound KPRAA was the sound that disturbed the intercourse. He was now technically less a man as it was fully confirmed upon the removal of his dead modifiers from her BOX OFFICE. What happened after, I really care less…whether the sperm in her vaginal vault will be sufficient to leave her with protruded stomach, I do not know; but a broken NAPIER BONES all in the quest for granting Sasha her fundamental sexual right?!! That is a hell of craze.

Mr. Obeezy is not against a crazy relationship oh! Just that I do not believe the DAVID AND SASHA union was founded on love. Clearly, it is a good thing to love your partner and know her body perfectly well i.e. having the ability to satisfy her urges; but not that your whole reason for being in a relationship should be narrowed towards ceaseless thoughts of how to sexually PANEL BEAT your chick. L.O.V.E is not “Legs Open Very Easily”, so let us be quick to draw the line between lust and love. Morally speaking, you should not call LOVE “sex me love, at first meeting”. It breaches every moral code, and any dude telling you he loves you all for the obvious cookie is a man operating under the ID component. Biblically speaking, sex is sacral; it should be consummated upon marriage. If couples choose to have a crazy sexual life, then the bible has no penalty for them. Legally speaking, the court of law should put insult to David’s injury as having sexual connection with a girl who is yet to have attained the statute preached age, is only sufficient to rope one in for STATUTORY RAPE (laughs). Such comeuppance is one way to reduce this teenage lust affair the society has been plagued with. Obedly speaking, if u wan kpansh your babe, na to go kill yourself? I pray sey I go climb mountain bcos I wan blow one chikala…mtcheew! crazy relationship don baff? That David shaaa.
 #night out…sleep calls, Kisha Bella.

                                                

                                                                                         OKOCHA OBED.

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