So Cristus, a friend of mine, displays a vivid account of a pinch of his love life, the good times, hiccups, and his decision. Let us see what he has for us…
I have always, in an untold doggedly manner, reposed much trust on my guts. I mean, I thought in line with Olivia pope (season film scandal), “my guts never fail me”. On a certain evening, I decided to apply my guts, even though circumstances painted the devils involvement; which was one void of a begging dot of God’s approval. I allowed a mild distraction. The day had been hectic, yes, frankly speaking I was yet still on my last errand for the day. “Why not give in for some youthful pleasure, a distraction that was worth a try?” I had ruminated inwardly. I ventured to embrace the risk, noting all odds against me, a quest for notification and recognition aiming at a long lasting or perhaps peripheral intimacy.
The hour had ripened. My mind was made up to bringing to fruition my craving; and not even the attempts of the extant overwhelming darkness could divest me of my aim. My pupils dilated, but was incredibly accommodating even a brighter vision. With a keg of petrol gripped tightly in my hand, in pursuance to my last errand that night, specifically at an unholy hour of the day. I spotted a slim figure, her mannerism from a distance communicated novicity and a questionable oblivion. As we gained on each other, proximity gave a better interpretation to her stature. The darkness could not consume her unique beauty, a dim street light gave a view, especially to her perfect eyes. A further marvel and painstaking scrutiny at this striking damsel illuminated her inviting lips, and an embryonic emerging figure eight stature.
She was blessed with height, deprived of a dark complexion; and on subsequent discovery, complimented with an impressing girly accent. Her every word to me was like an emollient rubbed on my skin. What a lady she was.
After a few seconds of speculation and examination, I overcame my natural reluctance. ” I would approach her, and I don’t give two fucks whether she screams, snobs or ignore me” I said to myself. Due to the fact that it was absolutely an unholy hour, concluding my thoughts were the regular “at least I made a try” phrase.
Yes! Although with much struggle, I called for her attention; to be more precised, I applied the ” excuse me please ” statement. Contrary to my expectation, she made a halt, gave a rapt-but-hurrying attention. My guts caught the “speak fast” message, thus I engaged her in a succinct conversation in a bid to extract vital details about her. Just as to be found in a naive five year old, she spilled out words in surplusage; hence, eqquiping me with every crucial detail for a comfortable next encounter.
Immediately, I felt a rush. My blood stream was flooded with satisfaction. Which guy could stop a young girl at such grave time of the night, and obtain such details? Save with the overwhelming application of force ( I said to myself). In fact, over excitement blinded my discretion, I forgot to bid the damsel a goodbye.
I took off and walked briskly, like a hungry dog chasing a bone. I was only about 16 years old then. I crammed her details in the absence of my phone that night. Thus, as soon as I was within the confines of my father’s house, my phone was the first to witness my return, as I had to decorate it with an important detail.
It was Taiwo’s 2go username. My request was accepted few days later when she came online. We chatted briefly and to my greatest surprise, we didn’t exchange numbers. My guts comforted me “at least she was only a stone throw from my house”.
Days went by, months followed suit. My memories became dim, my guts could only aid me with the fact that I had met an incredible girl one night, a person who prefers to stay offline and bless all her contacts with niether profile picture nor status.
A year passed, truly I forgot totally about Taiwo, until one afternoon. While the scouching heat of the sun produced sweats on my face, three young ladies approached. Their resemblance laid to rest the family tie question, but their varying heights sprouted the ” who is older question”. On a long and short it was Taiwo, her twin sister (Kehinde), and Deborah (her elder sister) approaching.
We had a reconvergence, both giving explanations for the long break in communication between us. Assumed a better sacle exchanging numbers. Furthermore, it would be grave if I skipped the part where she was all excited to see me, in fact I was compelled to make a promise to call, and always keep up with the chats on whats app. Certainly, as any other reasonable young man would have acted if opportuned to be placed in my shoe, I picked up the call to duty… Honestly, I sailed the right direction, stayed up late at night, exhuasted most of my 24 hours to chatting her up. Perhaps, this was the contextual extremity that killed my cat, rather than curiosity.
The bond grew and became firm. Taiwo and I knew that, just like 5 and 6, we had a thing. As a university student, I came to experience the inability to concentrate on my studies at some point – I indeed had this albatross around my neck. Obssessed with Taiwo and disappointed with grades, I yielded my guts instruction ” ask her for a little breathing space, she wouldn’t leave but just space”. I made the request, she obliged ” its okay” concluding her response with the “don’t worry I understand” phrase.
Now that was it. Ever since then, I haven’t been able to figure out the method to her madness. All attmepts to retract my statement was futile. She gave me distance. I laboured to ignite the dead vibes. She noticed and took two further steps. Comfortably, she meticulously abhorred all my ceaseless efforts; she made it lucid by not picking up calls, and giving little or no response to chats.
I cursed myself. “What have I done?” The vibe was scuttled in totality. This incredible story is gradually producing no happily ever after, worst of all this amazing girl had gone beyond arms length without giving a second thought. Thus, I resolved I would let go. We both knew I loved her, but love has its limits. I was sure that from her actions, I could only feature at the subterranean level in her scale of preference.
Yes! I know I had my faults, I might be crappy, overly curious, boring and still fun to be with at times. Lets even assume it is all my fault. The wholesome truth remains still that this obssession is eating deep, death is obviously drawing close as the day goes by. Numerous thoughts of guilt torments me daily. She had occupied most of my daily thoughts, I even dream of her at night. Insanity was a stone throw distance; yet, I knew she was now far beyond my grip. So upon wallowing in one of my daily thoughts, I painfully decided to let off the steam by penning down the contents of this bumpy ride so far.
Thus I wrote this to her:
” Dear Taiwo, obviously you have now grown into a very pretty lady with enviable contents at your front and rare positions, your lips have even taken a brighter appearance, and those long, slim, spotless legs of yours have not missed God’s blessings of Attraction. Although my outcry will not get passed the pillars of your heart, or even scatch your emotions a bit; I have nonetheless decided to step down, and call off the fruitless chase. Even if I can’t survive missing those amazing chuckles of yours. So lets play consciously save, and keep it at a moderate friendship level”.
Edited by: Mr. Obeezy