I wonder why we kept raising placards and voices, how on Earth did we imagine that our president was not traveling round the world to find solutions to the wailings of the people of Chibok. I love my president and I am proud to admit it. The government keeps representing our interests, you know their interest is ours right? We wanted a shot at ruling and the big boys gave us a seat without a crown — it is good, it is a test of our readiness. I walked the street of my village yet again, I smile because the now growing cultism has been addressed by the big boys — heard they have night job application granted, a development the US govt needs emulate. I walk with my ear plugs to avoid being eaten by vapidness — it is common here, no light in my community probably that peace reigns. Good how the government deprives us of light, it must have had a spiritual intent of making us see not the evil or hell of a news it is assiduously combating. J’ai connais.
The price of sugar hits N500. It is the drop in fuel price okay. A very religious and optimistic leader we have, he now wants us to go to the farm without a capital. C’mon, change has come, so let’s embrace it. Kudos to a leader that has found the crux of Nigeria’s decay (as my friend once scribbled), the problem of Nigeria cannot lie on the shoulders of an old man solely, this is why he shares it with you and I. I respect this move, history books await you sincerely. Oh how can I forget the budget, it was a promising one and “one” that ordinarily directs the activity of a country — we know it flopped due to the swell of spiritual forces and ill will of never-do-wells.
Employment was available only that salaries were still buffering. It was difficult circulating money due to exchange rate palaver. I am happy he was more active in ceremonial functions, he clearly wanted to strengthen relationships with white folks, get exclusive books on HOW TO OVERCOME RECESSION, hear what people there think of Nigeria, see for himself if he was doing just fine, or best still, to see his lovable children who are in the best of schools that they may rule someday. Nothing has made much sense than the politicians we have. If Jona could grab awards for PEACEFULLY stepping down, then Jibrin is inch close to getting his prize for putting the law makers on their toes, making some noise, and resorting to peaceful drop of charges. This is democracy, not The More Crazy (bad English).
Pretty close to a new year now. Same ritual. Hey you sure you got resolutions? Did you get a new job? It is recession, a perfect way to know the proles, the struggling average men, and the rich. It is no sport, it is just for record purposes — it is yuletide, I bet you want to know who to beg. It is recession, we are advised to trust our money in the safe hands of judges — they are keepers of the law but now keep money as new vocation. I love this year, it witnessed a reduction in drunkenness. The customers got too broke to buy or the sellers, to scared to run on credits. It is recession, the government is purging itself and so are proles. The purge of the proles is the killing of each other for material worth, frustration’s sake, or wilful aid to the government in reducing population. Exactly what we need. But do we need to know more than the government purges itself by fighting KWAROPTION? but of course no one dies or best still, it is duly classified and understandably official. On the 31st night of December, the rich and the broke would gather for the eve. Different prayer points, different definition of tears — I like to think all tears of joy. I wish everyone a different kind of change in 2017, a reduced gbomo gbomo experience, a successful collar job application with a brand new hoe for chops, a booboisie and hobble free economy. These wishes were from my heart till Lamar asked HOW MUCH A DOLLAR COST?